Conditions of Existence -Album Review: The Crises Memoirs

Jan 12, 2012

“I consider myself to be a private individual, though I have nothing to hide…” – Edward Valenzuela aka Ed Scissorhands

Are you one of those voyeuristic vampires who will continue to watch an emotional crisis unfold into a public display of shivering nakedness? Conditions of Existence’s new album, The Crises Memoirs feeds on the blood of the not-so-innocent, look-at-me-then-look-away bodies of the beautiful and vapid. And beneath the pouty, pulsing beat, you can almost hear a faint whisper: “I’m a cutter…of hair.” It’s synthetic and emotional—an ironic contradiction successfully executed, complete with the scars of initiation—produced, engineered, and recorded by Edward Valenzuela, owner and operator of production company Dressed to Kill.

The first track, “Facade”, leads you down a runway of masks. You’ve seen and heard it before. It’s a catwalk that just might be sprayed with oil. Bitchy. Spiteful. And everything we love about danger glam. “We Kissed Too Long” drops into a monotonous whisper—a hookup that means nothing—distant and inconsequential. Slowly, you’re pulled into a haunted church, “Based on the Gracious,” where Valenzuela begins to experiment with his own voice instead of the much-used, raspy rattle found on many of the other tracks. “Disgraceful” is a standout on the album—Valenzuela tries on a veil of power, breaking away slightly from the masochistic muddy waters, with spoken vocals and rhythm guitar by Wolfgang.

There are highs and lows to overcome while following this artist through a seemingly uncomfortable party where you’re not sure if anyone wants to be there, but you don’t want to miss the inevitable drama waiting in the center of the room. The keyboard arrangements show promise and precision while the vocals are at times undefined or timid. Don’t miss out on “Lovers Wealth”. Keep the final track going after every cent is spent—there’s an acoustic gem slithering around in a dark corner waiting to bite…

Listen to Conditions of Existence, The Crises Memoirs, by streaming the album for free at dressedtokillonline.com.